I know – you might be wondering WHY on earth I would make a post about all the reasons you shouldn’t homeschool. Homeschooling in today’s world can seem pretty radical – especially if you’re coming from a public school or traditional school background.
So here are some common reasons people reject homeschooling alongside the common ideas amongst homeschoolers that are generally accepted in regards to those topics. Those of us who went to public school might find these mindsets a bit radical at first because it goes against everything we’ve ever been told.
Homeschooling can bring many obstacles. So with no further ado, here is my list of reasons people should NOT homeschool… and the truth about overcoming these obstacles.
1. Homeschoolers Are Weird
Let’s be honest – homeschoolers are weird. For a long time I rejected this idea… I really resented it. I feel like I finally have a small bit of understanding in regards to this, though. Homeschoolers ARE weird… but why?
I believe the answer is because homeschoolers are dedicated to making sure that they tailor fit their children’s education to each child as an individual. Instead of teaching our children how to fit into the mold that society has tried to carve out for them, we try to allow our children to have the freedom to be who God actually created them to be!
The result? Well… when individuals are given the freedom to become who they were created to be… guess what? Their incredible, beautiful, individual geniuses come out. Let’s be honest – that’s NOT normal.
2. I’m Not a Teacher
You aren’t a teacher by trade… you’re a family. Being a family first doesn’t change when you start homeschooling. A lot of people talk about putting on the “teacher” hat, but this isn’t necessary to facilitate learning in your home on a daily basis.
Parents often get in their feelings about this one. They feel inadequate to be able to teach their children anything the school teaches. We are convinced that trained teachers can do it better… and let’s be honest – maybe they can?
We don’t have all the tips and tricks and tools that teachers learn in all of their years of schooling. But the truth is that parents ARE teachers. A lot of children know their ABC’s before they ever get to preschool. Why? Because a PARENT took the time to teach them!
Parents are a child’s FIRST teacher. We teach them to use the potty, how to hold a spoon, and how to share with others. We teach them their first words, how to walk, and a lot of times even their shapes, colors, and ABC’s.
Leave it to the Professionals
I came across this quote a few days ago from Geoff Graham. I have no idea what his ideals or viewpoints typically are, but this quote got me thinking.
If children started school at six months old and their teachers gave them walking lessons, within a single generation people would come to believe that humans couldn’t learn to walk without going to school.
-Geoff Graham, Twitter Post on Feb 12, 2018
I know the idea seems outlandish and ridiculous. Let’s take a moment to REALLY think about it. Why DO parent’s feel like they aren’t qualified to homeschool? I believe it is because they don’t equate being a parent to being a teacher.
Why do parent’s feel this way, despite the fact that they’ve taught their children SO much in the first five years of their lives? It is likely because they believe someone who IS considered a professional can teach it better.
Teachers are certainly professionals, but they are professionals in skills that enable them to teach a class of large multitude and helping a mass of students understand large amounts of information. They are not professionals of YOUR child… that title belongs to the parent.
This idea that parents can no longer teach their children the things that the schools teach is the actual idea that is outlandish. I really do believe that if schools started teaching children how to walk, most parents would suddenly feel unqualified.
You don’t have to be a teacher in order to teach your child… being their PARENT is quite enough. We don’t have to put on a special “hat,” a special mindset, or get into a special “mode” to teach our children. Parent’s ARE teachers – and “learning” is NOT the same thing as a worksheet! You don’t have to know all the answers – you just have to be willing to do the work to *FIND* the answers.
There are so many apps and websites out there to help that you’re just committing to put in the work to find the answer, app, or website that will work for each child. You’re not making a promise to *KNOW* all of the answers. You’re just making a promise to *FIND* a solution.
Homeschooling as a Family Lifestyle
Most of the time, I learn the concepts WITH my children. I usually don’t remember enough about a topic to feel confident teaching it, so we end up learning it together. This is actually NORMAL for homeschooling families.
If you aren’t afraid to bite the bullet and do what you believe is best for your child, then you aren’t the parent who isn’t going to be willing to put in the work to find the best answer for your child when he or she is struggling.
God is the one who qualified us to teach our children when He gave us our children. He knew that we needed them – and He knew that they needed us. No amount of education can replace the determination of a loving parent. None.
Homeschooling is a whole different ball game than teaching in a public school. It’s about learning how to foster a lifestyle of learning together as a family – not how to recreate the classroom setting to mimic the public school experience.
A Side Note for All the Dedicated Teachers
**A Note to All the Dedicated Teachers Out There: You rock! It takes a special kind of person to pour yourselves out into the children of others day-in and day-out. Please know I am not belittling your experience or the heart that it takes to be a great teacher. I’m simply trying to highlight that parents are teachers, too – and that’s perfectly okay when it comes to homeschooling. <3 **
3. It’s Expensive
Changing the Mindset
Homeschooling is expensive… if you’re still living in the ’80’s. Okay, okay. Homeschooling CAN be expensive, depending on the curriculum choices you choose. I remember the first time we sank $350 into a nice, fancy curriculum. The sticker-shock was undeniable!
Fortunately, you don’t *HAVE* to use fancy curriculum to give your children a quality education. Every year we decided to buy curriculum with our tax check because we knew we couldn’t afford what we wanted otherwise. That first fancy curriculum we bought? I lasted 5 weeks before the rigor had me worn out.
This was actually one time that I seriously considered quitting homeschooling. One of the first blog posts I had ever written was actually about this struggle. For us, this was mostly a financial barrier we were dealing with… and a mindset that something had to be expensive to be of good quality.
What I learned from this experience is that this simply was not true. I used Easy Peasy All-In-One Homeschool (a completely free online curriculum) for the next 2.5 years! I’ve often gone back to using EP during other times, also, because my children did so well with it; they tested 3-5 grade levels ahead on the CAT tests we had taken. Not only was this curriculum FREE, but it only took us about 3 hours to complete each day.
It Doesn’t Have to Be Expensive
The verdict? Homeschooling does NOT have to be expensive. There are resources galore out there to help you homeschool your child for free. Here are some reviews I’ve done on a few free curriculum options that you might be interested in reading if this is a barrier for you, too.
My favorite resource for looking into free curriculum options is Freedom Homeschooling, which has lists and lists of free resources and curriculum options for homeschooling for free. Because of our own personal struggles, however, Easy Peasy will always have a special place in my heart.
Does It TRULY Cost More?
Before moving on, I would like to take a moment to point out that most people spend $350 just on school supplies per child each year. When you truly take time to consider all of the costs for going to public school (like school supplies, school clothes, and book fees) is it really any less costly after all?
Even if you DID want to spend $350 on a fancier curriculum, the cost would still be comparable to the costs associated with public schooling in many school districts. Just some food for thought.
4. I’m Not Disciplined Enough
No Schedules Needed
Homeschooling families are as unique as they come – no two homeschoolers are alike! We all have different educational philosophies, teaching philosophies, and experiences that set us apart as individuals – and all of our children are different, too!
The point I’m making here is that while some homeschoolers may keep strict schedules and routines (me included), that does NOT mean that all – or even MOST – homeschooling parents do it that way! There is no right or wrong way to do this homeschooling thing!
Many people believe that letting your children sleep in is developmentally necessary, that routines and structure kill all the fun, and that worksheets come straight from the pits of hell. I can level with these sentiments. You do you!
These families have learned how to foster self-reliance in their children and oftentimes how to truly teach their children to follow the interests of their own hearts and allow learning to develop naturally based on each individual’s interests.
It’s like these families have learned how to tap into their own unique special superpowers in order to create a loving, laughing, environment full of self-exploration and self-led, interest-based learning. Nobody learns something better than when they truly are interested!
Every Family Is Unique
The point is that homeschoolers come in all shapes and sizes. If you want to sleep until the afternoon and do school after dinner, that’s perfectly acceptable. NOT FOLLOWING STRICT ROUTINES IS PERFECTLY NORMAL for so many people. In fact, I guarantee if you go into some of those huge homeschooling groups on Facebook, you’ll find many people who do just that!
Every family has different viewpoints, different opinions, and different needs based on the parent’s personality and the needs and personalities of their children. If you are a relaxed person, don’t try to force yourself to fit into a mold of what you think it should be or what you think it should look like.
Homeschooling is an extension of parenting. If your parenting style is relaxed, then your homeschooling style will likely be relaxed, too. Don’t try to force something that doesn’t work for you. Let go of those expectations and go with the natural flow of your family.
You DON’T have to be super disciplined in order to homeschool successfully or to homeschool well. Many experienced homeschoolers don’t follow strict routines, so why should you?
If routines and schedules are your thing, though, I do have some tips for setting routines to help you get started!
5. I Don’t Have Time
There are only so many hours in the day, but the truth is that we *make* time for those things that are important to us. For many, homeschooling is not a high enough priority to give it place – but that doesn’t truly mean there is not enough time. It just means that you may need to reassess your priority list and see which things make the cut.
I have had to homeschool as a single, working parent during seasons that my husband and I have had to live separately. Others have split the homeschooling load while both parents work full time. I’ve even heard stories of parents who were divorced working together to homeschool different subjects based on each parent’s strengths.
If something is important enough to you, you can find a way. Also, if you’re homeschooling because you believe it is a call that God has put on your life, you can be sure He will give you everything you need to see it through to the end.
Homeschooling can often be done in as little as 3 hours a day. There’s even a lady who has some kind of program or system that she calls the 90 minute school day! It’s definitely possible. It should NOT be taking 8 hours for school each day.
Be sure to check out this post for some tips for the working homeschool parent.
6. I’m Not Smart Enough
I’m sorry to burst your bubble, but everybody is smart. In Kathy Koch’s book, 8 Great Smarts, she uses the knowledge she’s gained from her PhD to explain how everyone is smart in exactly the ways God has created them to be based on what He has called them to do in life. Everyone is smart.
In society, we have been trained to believe that if you don’t fit into the category of people who learn in the way information is typically taught in the school system, we are not smart. This is simply not true. There are different ways to learn and teach different things.
Learning is a part of everyday life; just because someone learns differently does not mean they are not smart. In Tina Hollenbeck’s book, 8 Great Smarts for Homeschoolers: A Guide to Teaching Based on Your Child’s Unique Strengths, she reinforces Dr. Koch’s research and shows us how to apply these truths as homeschoolers.
On another note, I’ve already mentioned previously that most homeschoolers learn alongside their children. We don’t know all of the answers before we get there and teach out of the great wealth of our brainpower! Instead, we allow the curriculum and resources we use to teach us, too!
There are so many apps, games, and teaching resources out there that you are sure to find something to help you and your child understand if you start digging for solutions. If something happens and you still aren’t getting it, nobody says you have to do it alone!
There are times that my husband has to teach math when he gets homes from work because I’m just not good at explaining it. There are times we rely on other programs to help teach subjects. Sometimes we have had to call random family members, like my brother (who is a chemist) for help understanding a concept.
Do not forget that there are often tutoring options, also. Many libraries offer tutoring and most communities also have something in place like that, too. There are also tutoring hotlines like 1-800-ask-rose (yes that’s still a thing!) and online tutoring sites! You could even hire a private tutor if needed!
When we don’t know the answers, we start Googling answers and asking questions in Facebook groups! There are so many websites and apps out there to help us with nearly every problem – we just have to take the time to look for a solution.
7. My Children Need Socialization
Socialization by Definition
Let’s talk about socialization. According to Oxford Languages, one definition of socialization is, “the process of learning to behave in a way that is acceptable to society.” Going to a school is not the only way for us to learn this skill.
There is no other time in our lives, outside of the educational system, that we will ever need the skill of getting along with an entire group of people that are the exact same age as us. In fact, being in an environment where the ages and experiences of our peers are varied, as you would find in a family, a church, a workplace, or even a trip to the store, is what will give children true-to-life experience with learning how to behave in those situations.
The idea that school is necessary to teach socialization is actually pretty absurd. Just look at the definition of socialization and spend some time thinking about which scenarios will actually teach “socialization,” by its proper definition.
Being Intentional About Making Friends
Now, with that being said, homeschoolers do need to be intentional about giving their children opportunities to build friendships with others. This is easily accomplished by making friends when you are out and about. Lead by example – talk to other moms while you’re out! Your children can make friends at church, at the park, at the library, or just about anywhere!
You can join homeschool co-ops, homeschool Facebook groups for your area, and Facebook groups for your state to get connected with other homeschoolers who have the same desires for their children to get connected, too.
If there isn’t already something like that in your area, I would strongly encourage you to start a Facebook group that would serve that purpose.
Having a community for homeschoolers to connect locally is extremely beneficial for building friendships and community where we can lift each other up! I guarantee you aren’t the only one in your area wishing they had something like that!
The “Social Skills” Comeback
Many homeschoolers feel that the school system is not a safe place because of previous bullying; others feel that the school system has only caused their child to become friends with those who are a bad influence.
There does come a time when you have to just follow your peace and do what you believe is best for your child. If you know that the school system is negatively impacting your child in some way, and you believe homeschooling is the answer, don’t be afraid to just step out.
With all of the options available, it doesn’t have to be hard to create an environment where our children can mix with others of all ages and make friends with others – we just have to be intentional about getting out!
8. I Don’t Have a Strong Support System
When I think “support system,” I think parents, friends, and babysitting options. I can tell you from experience that doing life while homeschooling can be pretty hard when you don’t have a strong support system to fall on.
My parents and siblings were not thrilled with my decision to homeschool my children – it took almost SEVEN YEARS of pushing through all the negativity before they finally let up. I didn’t know very many people who homeschooled, my children were constantly driving me up the wall, and my husband didn’t know to be there for me to offer that extra relief I needed.
My advice to you? Take my advice in #7 and create your own support system. Some people will never get on-board and some people won’t know HOW to support you. Do you know who WILL? Other homeschooling moms. They get it.
Take it upon yourself to start your own homeschooling Facebook group for your area if there isn’t already one. Go to the park and plan outings; go by yourself until people start coming with. It will eventually catch traction, just give it a little time.
While you’re waiting, find support in other homeschooling groups. I always recommend being a part of many different homeschooling groups to get many answers from different perspectives. Each group has a personality, so-to-say. They have groups by location, groups for large families, groups for RV-ers and roadschooling – they have groups for nearly everything!
Homeschool Groups & Co-ops
Homeschool groups and co-ops are a great way to build support. Here is a list of several ways to discover co-ops in your area:
- Homeschool-Life Christian Co-ops in the U.S.
- Homeschool Groups Near Me
- HSLDA List of Homeschool Groups by Location
- Starting Your Own Co-op
- More Tips for Starting Your Own Co-Op
- Do a Google Search for “Homeschool Groups Near Me”
9. What About Sports & Extra-Curriculars?
Sports, Extra-Curricular Activities & the Local School System
Homeschooling laws are governed by the states, so whether or not homeschoolers can participate in their local school’s sports or extra-curricular activities will vary from place to place. Here in Indiana, the state leaves that decision up to each individual school district, so it can even vary from city to city!
Some districts will allow students to participate in public school extra-curriculars. Other districts will require a homeschooling student to take a minimum of one class in person at the school in order to participate in the school’s programs. Contact your local school district to find the rules for your location.
In order to find your state’s individual laws, I would recommend looking up your state on HSLDA’s website. They should be able to give you a run down of what your state’s laws are. That’s a good place to get started.
About HSLDA
HSLDA (Home School Legal Defense Association) is a group of lawyers committed to defending homeschooling rights (and homeschoolers as individuals) across the United States. At the time of writing this post, membership is only $12 per month in order to gain their legal support to fall back on if you ever need someone to help you stand up for your rights.
I highly recommend joining HSLDA for the peace of mind of knowing that you have a legal support system. They are also a great resource for helping prepare the correct documentation for your state when getting started and also helping you understand the recordkeeping and other possible requirements unique to your state.
If you go to their website and click your state, they usually have a short video explaining the laws and details for sports and extra-curriculars as it pertains to your specific state.
Community Sports & Extra-Curricular Activities
Whether or not your state allows homeschoolers to join public school extra-curriculars, there are still other options for sports and extra-curriculars. In my area, homeschoolers are not able to participate in school extra-curriculars, but we do have what’s called PAL (Police Athletic League), in which my children participated in for soccer each year. Our local PAL also offered football and cheerleading for anyone in the community.
There are 2-3 community Baseball Leagues in our city that my children participated in several years in a row (that was fun to balance with soccer in the mix!). We also are part of a local homeschool co-op which offers outings and field trips, basketball teams, volleyball teams, and a yearly Drama Camp.
In addition to those things, our YMCA also has basketball teams for children to join, and tons of kids programs for our children to get connected. The YMCA also offers swimming lessons, etc, which can count toward homeschooling classes, too!
We have a local Civic Theatre for our community that anyone is welcome to join, and have a few community orchestras that anyone is welcome to participate in, as well as ones that you have to try out for. Dance lessons, gymnastics, karate, and other similar programs are also great ways to meet other children (and their parents)!
Another great way to meet new people is through the programs at the library! If there has been enough demand, many libraries offer several programs and activities throughout the week for children and homeschoolers to attend. If your library doesn’t already, you could always mention it and maybe they will start one. You could even offer to help them head it up to help out!
Now, when we first started homeschooling, we had no idea our community had so much to offer, but the longer we homeschooled, the more we discovered how much our community really did have to offer. There are homeschool support groups, classes, and even a whole new “play cafe” for homeschooling moms to go to to get a break!
Start a Facebook Group!
Even apart from all of these things, we have a few Facebook groups where families plan outings for their own family and just let others know the details so multiple families can meet and go to activities together.
That alone can be a huge step toward building community! And hey – once you get a good group going, you can put out your feelers to see if anyone wants to start a team of some kind!
If your community doesn’t have any of these things, who says you can’t be the one to get it all started? I’m sure there are more homeschoolers in your area than what you realize. You could start it all with a simple Facebook group.
10. What About High School?
Every State is Different
Easy Peasy has an excellent page about teaching high school, which I found very helpful when I was researching homeschooling in the early stages. HSLDA also has a page dedicated to teaching high school.
Each state is different, so it may be helpful to join a Facebook group specific to your state, or to reach out to HSLDA if you have a membership, to see what your state’s specific requirements are. It is important when going into high school to know this information so that you can keep the correct records from the get-go.
You don’t want to be three years into high school and realize you didn’t meet your state’s requirements for earning a diploma, if your state has those kinds of requirements.
AP Classes, Dual-Credit, CLEP Tests, & DSST Testing
If you are worried about building up your child’s transcript in high school, there a multiple ways to earn AP credits and Dual-Credit classes right from home. This page is a great resource for learning more about these things. Websites like Saylor and Study are just a couple of examples of ways you can earn college credit while still in high school.
Another option to gaining college credit while still in high school is to utilize CLEP Tests and DSST Testing. If you can find programs online to help your high schooler prepare for those tests, you could count it as credit as a high school class, and then go have them take the test so that it can count toward college credit, too!
These are some great ways to build up that transcript in the high school years.
More Than Transcripts
Of course, everything is not just about earning credits. There are tons of other ways to earn high school credits, including some trade school options, internships, and volunteer work. Every child’s high school journey is going to look different. Let them tailor-fit it to meet their own goals!
The best plan is to plan ahead and to do your research ahead of time. It’s better to be prepared than to be surprised! Be sure that you know what you’re getting into when you’re planning for high school.
My advice would be to contact HSLDA, or visit their website, and see what things you need to take into consideration for your specific state. Homeschooling through high school is an opportunity to really make your student shine!
Pros, Cons, & Your Family’s Choice
Everyone has a list of pros and cons for their own family when it comes to homeschooling vs. public schooling vs. private school. One mom might look at the children being gone all day as a con, where the overwhelmed mom may look at the same circumstance and consider it a reprieve!
Because of this, it’s very difficult to make a list of pros and cons on your behalf. Feel free to reach out to me at [email protected] and I’d be happy to talk to you about it through e-mail! You could also find me on Facebook and reach out through messenger, if you’re more comfortable with that.
In the meantime, please consider the above list of obstacles and some of the ways to overcome them. Make your own list of pros and cons and reach out to other homeschool moms with your concerns to see what they say. Try to be specific about your concerns so that they can give their best advice and experiences to help you make the best decision for your family.
In the end, though, only you can decide what’s best for your family. Take it to God in prayer and if you feel an overwhelming peace when you’re praying, you can be sure that God is leading you in the direction of that peace. If He’s leading you there, you can be sure He will help you accomplish every obstacle that comes your way.
Colossians 3:15 says to let the peace of God rule in your heart. I believe this is one way that God speaks to us. Take it to the Lord and follow the way that brings peace. If you’re His, then He holds your future and knows what is truly best for you and your family situation.
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